The College Years

10 Aug

Sad about leaving…excited about where I was headed…


Ahhh yes, the college years.  I remember it like it was yesterday…mainly in part because I only graduated a year ago.  Where fresh young minds come to achieve higher learning and where inseparable bonds are made not only with people, but with bottles of Advil.  It was 7 years ago this month that I rolled down West University Blvd. (trust me you didn’t want to be on East University…you may or may not have been shot) and arrived at FIT, a small (at the time) tech school in Melbourne, Florida.  At the time of my enrollment, there were about three thousand students at school…campus life was slow to say the least.  I met a great group of friends at FIT and as a result of the boredom, we made our own fun.  So with this blog posting, I’ve decided to compile a small list of short stories of our greatest moments and decided to share it with you. Note: All of these stories are true and factual, there may be some sensationalism, but what’s a good story without it?

The 500 Million-Dollar Idea – Do you guys know that you could be reading the blog of a multi-millionaire right now if it weren’t for my friends?  Read on. While travelling from tennis match to tennis match, my teammates and I would dream up ways to get rich.  8 Hour Bus rides get boring…fast.  There were a few good ideas, okay who am I kidding…they were all terrible.  One day, I dreamt up Twagles (pronounced: tway-gull).  What is a twagle you ask?  It is a bagel in the form of a Twinkie, but with cream cheese inside.  It was my answer to the busy adult, who didn’t have time to sit down and needed breakfast on the run.  What did my friends say you ask?  Oh something to the effect of, “That was the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard in my entire life.”  After being berated for five minutes on why a lemonade stand would have made more money than my idea, I figured hell, maybe it was a dumb idea…that is, until I woke up one morning.  Fast forward to my junior year. As I was getting ready for class one morning, I turned on the TV and lo and behold, a commercial comes on, Kraft has come out with this ingenious little treat called a Bagelful.  Don’t believe me?  Take a look for yourself. It was the exact same thing I had thought of 3 YEARS PRIOR.  After doing a bit of research, I found out that sales were through the roof…over $500 Million dollars.    Moral of the story, if you’ve got what you think is a good idea, and your dick-hole friends don’t like it…punch them all in the face.  Your millions can pay for their reconstructive surgery.

The Infamous Chicken Heist of 2006 – One of my best friends from college (we’ll call him Ditz) may or may not have a chicken problem…in the sense that he loves it. One late night after purchasing a barrel of chicken, my friend proceeded to put the remainder in the refrigerator only to awake the next morning to missing chicken!  That morning at practice was a somber one…as I watched my friend explain the tragedy that was his missing chicken, a single tear crept down his cheek.  He was on the brink…teetering on the fine line that is happiness and depression.    Although we have an idea as to who the culprit may be, to date, he hasn’t fessed up about it.  If you or someone you know, has any information leading to the whereabouts of the chicken, or its culprit(s) please contact me immediately.

The Great Grape Debacle – After practice one day, one of my best friends and I would sit for hours on end (at one point people thought we worked there) in the cafeteria and unwind. Well one day, a grape had fallen on the floor, and some random guy slipped on it.  Hilarity ensued.  So we made the following formula…what…we were at a tech school after all:

Grapes  + Floor = Possible Fall

And with that, we began throwing grapes on the floor.  One day, after many unsuccessful attempts, we hit the jackpot.  The poor girl never saw it coming.  It happened in slow motion…her milk was the first to go…as that careened through the air, her Potato pancake flew into the salad bar…she tried to regain her balance but alas, it was too late.  She hit the deck.  Since that day I’ve never touched a grape.

During my tenure at FIT, I had an amazing time and while I’m not proud of all the moments I had (The Great Grape Debacle for instance), they have defined who I am as a person.  Some people tell me I’m too nostalgic and my answer to that is, they’re probably right.   But as I wait on my future, let me hold onto my past…it was some of the best times of my life.

Sidebar, for those who wish to follow the blog, my best friend alerted me to the fact that simply entering your email address isn’t enough.  Apparently, there is a confirmation email that you receive with a link, and only after clicking that link will you get emails when I update the blog.  Who knew?  So thanks goes out to her for providing that tidbit of knowledge…I’ll send you a cookie and a box of pens…(that wasn’t a joke…like…she really likes pens…she steals them…you know all those times in school when you were sure you had just rested your pen down and couldn’t find it?…well I’m not pointing fingers but…)

If you guys like the blog, share it with your friends, family, and let me know what you guys think about it.  Take care guys until next time…signing out.

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