Houston, We Have A Problem…

2 Feb
Houston, We Have A Problem!

Houston, We Have A Problem!

Do you people know how long, I’ve been actually waiting on a problem that somehow involved Houston so I could say that?  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my fair share of problems over the past few years (too many if you ask me) but somehow they all evaded the state of Texas…in particular Houston, but recently, that all changed.

It was a typical Wednesday afternoon at work, not too much was going on, the day was winding down and I was trying to pysch myself up to get a jog in, even though I was telling myself it was going to somehow rain.  For reference, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky.  Now I don’t know if this only happens to me, but it seems right as though when it’s time to go home from work, something majorly important comes up.  Now just to provide a little preface, the company that I work for was acquiring a new airplane that was in Europe and my boss and another one of my colleagues were off to pick it up.  Walk in the park right?  So just as I was driving home, my cell phone rang, I heard a panicked voice on the other end. They had left behind some extremely important documents that could jeopardize the trip, however, if I could get everything to Houston by 3PM the next day (Where another colleague was heading off to meet them), I could save the day, be the knight in shining armor, take over the world…whoa, went off on a tangent there didn’t I?  More importantly, I wouldn’t have to fly my black ass to Europe in the dead of winter…I get ashy easily, don’t judge me.

With ticket in hand, and a backpack consisting of my iPad, a pair of socks, one pair of underwear, and a toothbrush (essentials in life), I was off, praying that all of my flights were on time.  I got to the gate just as they were boarding (I may or may not have overslept) and walked right on to the airplane.  I arrived at my seat closed the window shade, prayed that no one sat next to me (which they didn’t #winner) and immediately passed out.  When I awoke, I opened the window shade to see if I could determine which portion of flight we were in, much to my amazement, shock, and disbelief we were still on the ground!  I immediately began to panic, that is until I looked at my watch.  It was still early, and we weren’t scheduled to depart for another 5 minutes.  I guess I had fell into a deep sleep for about 10 minutes.  With that mini crisis averted, I decided I better stay awake until we got airbourne, you know, just in case.

A cranberry juice, three of those amazing Delta cookies, and a plane ride later, I was in Atlanta, which by the way, was a lot colder than Nassau…and raining.  I almost stepped back onto the airplane, the cold air hit me like a ton of bricks.  So I did what any other sane person would do, I ran up the jetway like someone was chasing me.  Now for those of you who’ve never had the opportunity to traverse Atlanta’s airport, finding your next flight in the maze of airplanes, gates, and people can be quite daunting.  Luckily, I was fortunate to work at the airport for a summer so I knew exactly where to go, and the fastest way there.  Jonathan – 1 : Atlanta – 0.5.  It was still cold.  Much to my happiness, my flight was on time and I began to relax a little.  After boarding, it was only a matter of minutes and we were on our way.

I fell asleep, again.  Whatever, I’m not narcoleptic, my first flight left at 8AM, let me see you stay awake.  I woke up right in time to hear something like “Flight Attendants, please have a seat as we’re expecting a pretty bumpy ride until touchdown.”  In fact, that’s exactly what I heard.  By no means am I afraid of turbulence, but when those up front ask the flight attendants to sit down, it’s usually a pretty bad ride.  Well, I was wrong.  It was actually a pretty smooth ride all the way down, don’t know what they were talking about, but whatever, I was in Houston safe and equally as important, on time.

Now, here was the tricky part, liaising with my colleague in an airport which was almost the size of Texas.  This seemed to be a bit daunting as he was coming in on another flight.  I checked the board and well, what do you know…his flight arrives at the gate almost right next to mine.  Winner, winner, chicken dinner.  Speaking of which I’m starving, back to the story though.

After giving him the documents, it was time to explore Houston a bit.  I was there for approximately 18 hours, so you know, why not.  I was staying with a good friend of mine, (Hi Jonay!), and she was there to pick me up as soon as she got done with work.  First order of business: shopping.  Seeing as though I hadn’t really packed, I needed to at least have something to sleep in.  Seems like a fair enough request.  Jonay took me to the nicest/biggest mall I tkhink I’ve ever been to.  It was about 4 stories high, had a hotel in it (where they do that at?), and had probably every store ever created.  I see why girls get so excited in malls.  I did some light shopping (it wasn’t light at all, I went HAM).

From there, we met up with her boyfriend and all went to dinner at this mexican restaurant which was fuego (see what I did there?).  Fuego means “fire” for my non spanish speaking friends.  If you knew what it was, well, good for you.  You should buy yourself a cookie.  From there we all just relaxed for the rest of the evening, as I had to be to the airport at 4AM for my 6AM flight.  Normally I’m quite the morning person, but on this morning in particular, my body was having none of it.  My eyes felt like someone was rubbing sandpaper in them.  Whatever, just get on the airplane and you can sleep, is what I told myself.  A few short hours later, I was back in Atlanta and much to my surprise, the impossible happened.  The weather was shittier than the day before…and colder.  I don’t know how people can put up with that kind of weather for more than a day.  Don’t get me wrong, I like the cold…in doses.  Apparently, I just needed a small dose this time.

My flight boarded, and everything was going good.  No one in the middle seat, meant that it was going to be a great flight, that is until the man in the aisle.  You know those, “you can use your cell phone but in airplane mode” prompts from the flight attendants that they chime in with, well this guy decided he wasn’t having it.  He was blatantly texting and when the flight attendant chastised him, he pretended to put his phone away, but kept texting “secretly”.  I use the word secretly loosely because, it was SO obvious what he was doing.  The flight attendant then came on the loud speaker, that the airplane wouldn’t move until those persons texting, IE the guy sitting in the aisle, stopped.  We finally pushed back with Mr. Texter still going at it.  I decided right then and there, that if the airplane crashed, and we both didn’t die, I was gonna beat him up.  It seemed like the right thing to do.  Luckily, he stopped and we didn’t die…obviously.  After takeoff, I passed out.  Anyone else sense a recurring theme in this story?  And just like that, I was back in Nassau, where the climate was much warmer.

I accomplished two missions that day.  Like Apollo 13, I too was successful in my mission, and I got to use really cool terminology IE the title of this blog post.  Not too many people can say that they’ve done that in their life.  I did two in the same day.  Be jealous.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: