The Islander: Volume 3

26 Mar

Mark Twain once said that the two most important days of your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why.  If I may, I’d like to add one other item to that list.  The day you commit to a barber.  Short of marriage, this is the biggest commitment that a man will make in his life.  I know you women are laughing, but would you let any and every hair dresser near your mane?  Thanks.  With hair, there’s so much that can go wrong.  Will they cut too much off?  Will he take my hair line back to the seventies?

Every man has had at least one horror story involving a barber who’s totally destroyed a his life.  Since 1987, I’ve had four barbers.  There was that one time that my dad cut my hair.  Emphasis on one time.  Also right after he cut it, I had to go to my cousin to rectify the situation.  As luck would have it (and subsequently my lack thereof), I had to go to school the next day prior to my cousin fixing my hair.  Social suicide.  Thank God memes and smart phones weren’t invented yet.


No kids were hurt in this recreation of my haircut.  We can’t say the same for his hairline.

Be that as it may, it had been two weeks since my last hair cut and the situation was getting a wee bit hairy.  See what I did there?  After asking around, I chose a barber that wasn’t too far from my apartment.  I’ll admit I was nervous.  The fact that there was no one in the barber shop did little to assuage my thoughts.  Was it just slow and people were busy or was he Edward Scissorhand’s less talented cousin?  I prayed.  Twenty gut wrenching moments later that involved mental cataloging of all of the hats I had brought with me, things were over.  I nervously looked in the mirror and well, all had went well.

And to think, it was only Monday.  On Tuesday or Wednesday, I went back into my favorite neighborhood grocery store and I have to admit, I’m getting better at this whole grocery shopping thing if I do say so myself.  I even signed up for one of those grocery store cards where you can earn points on all of your purchases.  Why I was excited about this, I’ll never know.  With my average bill being right around the national deficit, I figure in about a month and a half I can use my points to buy the store itself.  Then, free groceries for life.

Photo Mar 26, 12 50 26 PM

“Well if I can’t have free groceries, can I get Aisles 1 & 2?”

The rest of the week went relatively well until Murphy decided to rear his head.    I started getting what I determined to be the flu on Thursday and well, it’s been pretty downhill from there.  I’m actually writing this from bed. What’s annoying is just the general lack of energy that I have.  The body aches, you feel warm and cold at the same time, watery eyes, the congestion.  I imagine this is what Drake feels like when another stripper breaks his heart after he tried so hard to change them.  But you know.  More Life or whatever.  I really had high hopes for this weekend as I was planning to visit one of the other cays via the ferry but clearly, my body had other plans.  In any event, I’m hoping that I can make it this coming weekend barring any further interruptions from my friend Murph.  With 887 days to go, I’m sure he’ll find his way back into my life before then.

Life’s a beach.  Enjoy the wave.



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